Friday, April 16, 2010

Week Thirteen Update

Oh my goodness! Another week has flown by...Can't believe it's Friday and I'm just now posting my Week Thirteen Update! I'll get back in the swing of things soon (:

Last week and a good part of this week has been learning about confidence and boundaries. The one thing I love about getting older is the sense of confidence that grows each year. I'm stronger, more self assured, and darn right impressed with myself. Okay...not in the narcissistic, egotistical fashion, but I can look myself in the mirror and like what I see. There are bumps and bruises from the ride, but the journey has added a nice patina to the soul. Past experiences, good and bad, have allowed me to see beauty in the everyday simplicities and peace abounds.

Boundaries...ah, now that's a different story. See, I'm a giver and a warrior when comes to helping others. Always have been. I spot a need and want to fill it. Someone is being wronged and I want to defend them. The trouble with that is sometimes people need to help themselves or maybe someone else has been called to fill that need. Just because I see it doesn't mean I must take action instantly.

I have a couple of people in my life whom I love dearly, but they don't quite see how their actions affect others around them...aren't we all like this at one time or another? Now, these two have greatly hurt someone close to my heart, someone who is also a giver, and it's hard to sit back and say nothing. But sometimes that's exactly what we should do.

In my warrior state of mind, "If I just explain how their behavior is hurting others around them, surely they will see!! They just don't realize what they're doing." But attempts have been made in the past with little change to follow...only annoyance expressed that anything was addressed with no discussion of the situation's validity...just sweep it under the rug and act as if nothing happened. It's even harder when family is involved.

I'm learning that silence is sometimes more powerful than a voice. There are times when your voice must be heard and be heard loudly, but so many times it's the quiet silence that wins the battle. In the silence we hear the guidance of that inner voice leading us to the next step, the next task or the next response. When we step back in silence we can also weed through the chatter of distraction. Is this my battle to fight? Do I step forward now, or maybe later? Most of the time it has nothing to do with the other people in our lives, but how we respond to them. I can choose grace and mercy or anger and hate. How would I want someone to respond to me?

And so my inner warrior is learning about boundaries. Boundaries aren't limits on connecting with others, but safety zones set up to keep us healthy and whole. They give us balance and the space to see what's ahead and respond accordingly. Setting up boundaries and learning how to say no has been so freeing!! (: It's helped me to encourage/honor others and myself as well.

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

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